Sexual harassment can be defined a number of different ways depending on the institution, corporation, or organization implementing the policy. Sexual harassment is, put simply, unwelcome sexual advances. It has the effect of negatively impacting a person because it creates an "intimidating, hostile, or offensive work or educational environment." Harassment can also involve a proposition in which sexual favors are exchanged for some benefit such as continued employment, a promotion, a higher grade, or an academic letter of recommendation.

The law is very specific in its definitions of sexual harassment, but what it does not make clear is that the recipient of the sexual attention determines if the acts are "unwelcome". The degree to which behavior can be deemed harassment is subjective and will vary from individual to individual. What may be offensive or abusive behavior to one person may not be to another, and because there is no objective barometer to measure what is offensive, teens and adults alike may have difficulty in determining if they have been harassed.

Verbal harassment is the most common and frequent form of sexual harassment. Verbal harassment can include sexually specific name calling, comments about the size or shape of a person’s body, or repeatedly asking someone out when he/she is not interested.

Verbal sexual harassment has become so pervasive in our society that the effects it has on self-esteem are ignored. Words define our reality and also assign worth and value to people and objects. Verbal sexual harassment has the ability to reduce a person to an object defined by his/her sexual parts. Society should not underestimate the power of language.

The use of gestures and visual harassment is also common. Gyrating hips, exposure of the genitalia, public masturbation, as well as miming sex acts with hands and the mouth may all be classified as sexual harassment. Gestures directed at someone not desirous of this behavior are degrading and demeaning.

Visual harassment may include the use of pornography, obscene notes, or sex-related objects. When left on a person’s desk, locker, or notebook with the intention of hurting or taunting an individual, these materials serve to harass.

Physical harassment involves touching another person’s body against her/his will and is an invasion of one’s personal space as well as of one’s sense of security. Blocking another person’s path, touching, grabbing or pinching another person’s body in sexual places or in a sexual manner, and unwanted hugging or kissing are examples of physical sexual harassment. Physical harassment can raise fear and anxiety levels of students since it can lead to sexual assault.

Sexual harassment can be identified by a student based on his/her emotional and physical reactions to the behavior. Reactions are strikingly similar to the symptoms described in rape trauma syndrome (emotional and physical responses that occur after a sexual assault).

Emotional reactions to harassment can include fear, hostility towards the harasser, anger, confusion, frustration, hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, depression, humiliation, a feeling of dirtiness, fear of crowds, fear of being alone, denial, and sadness. According to a study conducted by the American Association of University Women (AAUW), the emotions may take specific forms such as: feeling self-conscious, feeling less sure or less confident, feeling afraid or scared, doubting the possibility of ever having a happy romantic relationship, and feeling confusion or self-doubt. Regarding these emotions, girls tended to be more affected by sexual harassment than boys. However, it is important to stress that boys are also sexually harassed and can experience similar symptoms.

Physically, a person being harassed can experience: nightmares, loss of sleep; loss of appetite or uncharacteristic increase in appetite; not wanting to be touched or a feeling of needing to be touched; and stress-related disorders such as stomachaches, headaches, rashes, muscle aches, and ulcers.

Emotional and physical responses to sexual harassment are often acted out and reflected in changes in students’ behavior. According to the AAUW study, students who have been sexually harassed experience impacts upon their education. Students no longer want to attend school, talk less, have difficulty concentrating in class, and have difficulty studying. This leads to lower grades on tests and doubt as to whether they even have "what it takes" to graduate from high school.

Harassment also affects other areas in students’ lives. The AAUW study found that students who were sexually harassed changed their behavior in relation to the harassment by avoiding the person who harassed them, avoiding places where the harasser might be, or changing their seat in classes. Less often, students may even stop attending a particular activity or sport, change their group of friends, take another route to and from school, or change schools.

Teens being sexually harassed often find it difficult to talk about, especially to adults. Students tend to blame themselves for the harassment and are afraid that others will also blame them. Such feelings as guilt, shame, and embarrassment are a part of sexual harassment, and teens are particularly vulnerable to these feelings. Additionally, many teens consider adult intervention as a threat to their independence. Asking adults for help may be seen by their peers as betraying the trust among all teens and "tattling." Because peer pressure is so strong, a "tattletale" label can be socially harmful for a teen. Because teens are afraid of being seen as a "tattletale," many will not want to report.

Students being sexually harassed often either accept or try to down-play the experience and deny their feelings. Teens may tell themselves that it cannot be important since other people are having the same experiences; it’s a part of school life; and it happens all the time. However, sexual harassment does impact people in a way that renders them less functional in their lives. Clearly when sexual harassment occurs, it cannot be easily ignored.

Although teens have many concerns about reporting, they also fear that their harassment will worsen. By sexually harassing, abusers have crossed personal boundaries which may continue to be breached and lead to sexual assault.

Many of the behaviors which constitute sexual harassment are also behaviors associated with flirtation. For many students, this can be confusing. However, the measure of whether or not the behavior is sexual harassment or flirting is the perception of the person receiving the attention. The following is a comparison between the perceptions observed in flirting and sexual harassment:

Feels good, confident feeling

Is reciprocal

Is non-threatening and complimentary

Builds the esteem of both parties

Feels equal to both parties

People sexually harass for a number of reasons. For the most part, harassment is accepted as a part of teen culture and school life. Both guys and girls are commonly harassed and then harass others. Teens do not tend to think there is anything unusual in that behavior. Since teens harass each other so often, many learn to harass back in self-defense. Often, they engage in a type of "contest," and the intensity of harassment tends to escalate. This level of sparring behavior is not unusual and helps to account for the high levels of abuse among teens.

Sexual harassment also seems to be a form of miscommunication. According to a study by AAUW, some teens thought that the person they were harassing liked it. Others responding to the survey said they wanted a date with or wanted something else from that person.

Teens may harass because of peer pressure. If a teen has a group of friends encouraging and condoning their behavior, it is difficult to break away and act differently from the group. In some groups of teens, there is a certain amount of status in being the best at putting other people down and sometimes these "put-downs" come in the form of sexual harassment.

It is important for teens to realize that sexual harassment is a difficult issue to address. It is subjective to a certain degree in that different people will have differing levels of tolerance for harassing behavior. What one person may consider to be harassment, another person may not acknowledge as offensive. It is possible that many teens may not realize that much of their behavior is considered offensive or harassing, especially if it was not their express intention to do so. It should be made clear though, that it is not necessarily the responsibility of the "reasonable person" to bring the offending behavior to the attention of the harasser, no more than it is the responsibility of the robbery victim to tell the thief that their behavior was wrong. Unfortunately, because of systemic sexism in our society, a harasser may not stop until his/her behavior has been confronted.

Sexual Harassment and Teens: A Program for Positive Change by Susan Strauss with Pamela Espeland

Hostile Hallways: The AAUW Survey on School Harassment In America’s Schools, researched by Louis Harris & Associates. 1-800-225-9998 ext. 246

Everything You Need to Know About Sexual Harassment by Elizabeth Bonchard

Sexual Harassment by Elaine Landau

Sexual Harassment: A Reference Handbook by Lynne Eisaguirre

Flirting or Harassment: A Teacher’s Guide on Student-to-Student Sexual Harassment In Schools by Nan Stein & Lisa Sjostrom — Center For Research on Women, (617) 283-2500

In Touch With Teens: A Relationship Violence Prevention Curriculum, Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women, (213) 462-1281

Off Limits, Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women.

Northwest Women’s Law Center, (206) 621-7691
119 S. Main St, Suite 330, Seattle WA 98104-2515

Washington State Human Rights Commission, (206) 464-6500
1511 3rd Ave, #921, Seattle WA 98101

Washington State Human Rights Commission, (509) 456-4473
W 905 Riverside Ave #921, Spokane WA 99216

Productive Thinking: We often joke about sensitive issues, but it is important that we not make a joke out of a problem which has harmful consequences.

Misconception: "Girls ask to be sexually harassed by the way they dress or behave."

Reality: Both young men and young women may dress in styles which they think will impress and be attractive to one another. However, sexual harassment is abusive and, therefore, should not be construed as attentive or welcome advances. It is never permissible to sexually harass someone, no matter what they wear or do.

Productive Thinking: I understand that harassing someone or being harassed is a sign of disrespect. I will treat others with respect in my interactions with them.

Misconception: "There’s nothing a person can do to stop sexual harassment."

Reality: Many see sexual harassment as a normal part of growing up. It’s true that sexual harassment has existed for a long time. Sexual harassment should not be condoned, however, simply because of its prevalence and history. It often can be stopped through assertive and direct communication.

Productive Thinking: Sexual harassment is tolerated less now than ever before. I will work to make my school a sexual harassment-free zone.

Misconception: "Guys cannot be sexually harassed."

Reality: Boys are also sexually harassed by girls, but usually boys are harassed by other boys. Boys or groups of boys can call each other names, make derogatory comments on another’s sexual prowess or orientation.

Productive Thinking: I understand that both males and females are hurt by sexual harassment.

Misconception: "Girls like to be sexually harassed. It’s a way of complimenting someone."

Reality: Sexual harassment is rude and demeaning behavior. No one likes being victimized, ridiculed or insulted. Sexual harassment is not complimentary attention.

Productive Thinking: Rather than make thoughtless assumptions, I will consider whether my attention to and behavior toward someone else is being positively perceived by them.

Misconception: "Sexual harassment is the same as flirting."

Reality: Sometimes, people confuse flirting with sexual harassment. However, flirting makes people feel good; harassment makes someone feel bad.